I was a soldier

I was a soldier.
I went to a battle and lost it.
I went to the war and also lost it.
And I went to the mother of all wars and -my God!- I lost it.

Then I left the army and became a p1p4-s0ld13r.

And I went to the battle and won it.
And also to the war and won it.
And finally I went to the mother of all wars and -guess it- I won it.

Wanna know my name?
I enjoy sleeping in the darkest caves.